Celebrating Fatherhood - The Honor Project Movie

I recently had the pleasure to cross paths with Emily Hibard of Hibard Group in Los Angeles. In addition to founding in her words, a "boutique solutions agency dedicated to supporting entrepreneurs, risk-takers, dreamers and doers", Emily is also the writer and producer of a new documentary that explores and exalts the joys and challenges of fatherhood. 

She was moved to do this feature to highlight incredible men who have stepped up and are providing an excellent role model both for their families and also their communities. 

Entitled Honor Project, Emily takes us on a journey to meet several fathers who open their hearts and invite us into their families for a small glimpse of what being a dad means to them. Emily chose the title because she states, "Respect is earned, but honor is given. I wanted to honor each of the dads in this documentary for showing up, leaning in and doing the hard work of parenting."

The beauty of this story is the variety of men who participated. There were all ages, different cultures, ethnicity and belief systems. For all their diversity, the one common thread was their love and dedication for their children. It was a declaration that there is no one size fits all when it comes to a father's love and impact. 

The film starts with Emily describing the life long dream of her own dad to kayak in the Arctic Ocean. Filtered throughout the hour long documentary is actual footage of his 3500 mile journey to fulfill that dream. 

The first noticeable aspect of the film is the difference a generation can make. Most of the men spoke of how their own fathers were either absent or outwardly non-affectionate. 

The few who grew up without fathers in their lives were understandably wary of diving into these waters for fear of no point of reference. The advantage they had was the freedom to develop their own ideas and plans to carve a different path and make sure their children did not experience that void. 

There were several men who had a father in the home, but grew up in an era where many did not openly express love. The nurturing was left to mothers while fathers were mostly sideline silent support systems. 

Even in those homes, the men recognized the positive contribution of their dads. One referenced the 'quiet hero'. They came to understand the sacrifice and work that a provider and leader brings to the home. What they also discovered, however, was the drive within themselves to push past the macho stereotype of love and learn to freely shower their children with affection. 

After the birth of his first child, one of the fathers spoke of being aware that for the first time in his life he was responsible for another person. He relayed how humbling and yet life-changing it was. Several dads spoke of the importance of having the approval of a father and what impact that carries with the child for the rest of their lives. 

One young father talked about his immediate realization that the world needed to be better and his desire to try and fix it for his child. Obviously, that isn't really possible but it does show the perspective shift that occurs when a parent sees through a different lens. 

Another man was a coach and sought to intermingle his coaching insight into his parenting. His go-to phrase was to 'lead from the front'. To him that meant going first and providing a path and example to follow. 

He told the story of having lost a game that his son played in and on the ride home going over the fine points of how to improve his performance. The man said his son looked at him and said, "Could you just please be my dad?" He said that forever touched him and changed the way he thought about their relationship and he always remembered he was the father first; coach second. 

The documentary also mentions City Dads Group which is an organization focused on helping dads navigate in today's ever changing world. Many of the men highlighted in this movie were members of the LA branch. There are chapters all over the US. Here is the link to their homepage for more information. 

Each of these men had stories. And each one had a remarkable and obvious love for their children and their families. Their individual journeys might have started differently and not everyone's story looked the same, but they all had a central theme, or thread if you will, woven throughout. Love. Commitment. Devotion. 

The documentary ends with Emily's father finally reaching the Arctic Ocean and taking that kayak out for a spin. The smile on his face and look of satisfaction was priceless. Emily credits her dad for always being there for her and providing unconditional love and encouragement. 

This film does an excellent job of showcasing the struggles and triumphs of these men who took on the greatest challenge of their life; being a dad. I highly recommend watching it. 

I have provided a link where you can find more information on how to buy the movie or the soundtrack.

I want to thank Emily Hibard for allowing me to opportunity step into the lives of these amazing men and fathers. They are the HOPE for the next generation coming behind. I feel much better now about our/their chances. 

Always remember....

Hope With Abandon

Hope Out

Hope For The Warriors - Help And Healing For Our Veterans

There is a special calling on the lives of those who choose to serve and protect our country through military service. And while patriotism and appreciation for their sacrifices are at an all-time high, there is still a very real price that is paid both physically and emotionally on both the service members and their loved ones.  

Hope For The Warriors is an organization that was started by military families for military families. It has its roots in North Carolina at the Camp Lejeune Marine Corps Base. It was in 2006 when a small group of spouses began to truly grasp the trauma and aftermath that war leaves behind. Long after the troops have left the battlefield, there are other conflicts fought in the hearts, minds, and bodies of those brave men and women.  

The family and loved ones of those service members often feel helpless to know how to care for and reach them. To bring peace and comfort in the knowledge that they are now safe. So many still do not find that peace.  

The mission when Hope For The Warriors started was to enable the returning service members to find success after their deployment. This could mean a new career path, education, mental health services and even positive interaction with others who have walked where they walked.  

Recently I had the opportunity to speak with two individuals who are actively involved in this outstanding program; Shelley Rodiguez and Sarah Dale.  

Here is a brief overview of my conversations. 

Shelley Rodriguez has been with Hope For The Warriors since 2012 and is currently the Program Director of Critical Care. She is a native of Texas and is married to Colonel Cesar Rodriquez, USMC.   

Shelley told me how Hope For The Warriors was conceived as an idea by Marine Corp wives whose husbands were all connected in some way. They knew firsthand of the obstacles faced and wanted a way to help. Today the program’s reach has gone all across the US and encompasses all branches of the military.  

Their services cover a wide range of needs. They provide financial assistance for those struggling to make ends meet. They pay rent, buy groceries and assist in getting homeless veterans off the streets. They can help with co-pays and other ways to ease the strain when money is tight.  

They also provide mental health programs to combat PTSD and restore wellness and a sense of purpose for those feeling disconnected and lost. Depression and suicide is a huge issue within this group and there are programs that offer hope for those struggling.  

There are also programs to help with substance abuse issues, which is a problem that plagues the veteran community. Their philosophy is to provide a hand up as opposed to hand out. They strive to provide the means so veterans and their families can move forward and live productive and happy lives.  

There is career assistance for transitioning out of the military and into civilian life; enabling the service member to find satisfying employment to support themselves and their families. There are also educational opportunities for those needing additional skills.  

According to Shelley, one of the biggest obstacles that a veteran may face is when there is an ‘other than honorable discharge’ status. This can result from a variety of issues but greatly affects the services they are eligible for. Hope For The Warriors works to amend this discharge status if at all possible to keep the lines of help open.  

Another benefit of this organization is the sporting events and outdoor activities that so many of the veterans love to participate in. There are golfing events, fishing trips, hunting retreats, marathons and a host of other events that build friendships and foster a new sense of wellbeing and even fun.  

With all the amazing benefits that Hope For The Warriors provide, I asked Shelley what was the biggest obstacle in their mission. Her response was simply getting the word out. Most all of the money raised goes directly into the outreach and very little is spent on advertisement. They rely heavily on word of mouth and referrals to spread their message.  

They are also in need of volunteers. There are many ways someone can help by volunteering for this amazing organization. Information will be provided at the end of the article for those wishing to sign up.  

  

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I then had the privilege of speaking with Sarah Dale who is also a military spouse and has experienced firsthand the benefits of Hope For The Warriors.  

Sarah’s husband John suffered from PTSD. At the time, they knew of no other couple who were experiencing this issue. They felt isolated and unable to wade through the mire and the fog that PTSD brings not only to the service members but their caregiver.  

Sarah admits that she was an angry Army wife. She felt unprepared and unfulfilled. That’s when she turned to Hope For The Warriors. Through this organization, she qualified for a Caregiver Scholarship where she enrolled in graduate school for Fine Art.  

Sarah had started her career in advertising in the DC area. She quickly determined this was not the right career path. She had a passion for the arts and started painting and then through the degree program began creating eco-friendly, recycled art that highlighted her struggles as a veteran caregiver. Her work depicted the internal battles that both she and her husband were dealing with and it also sparked interest from those who shared their struggles. 

In her own words; "This piece is called Flowers for the VA. I decided to create something beautiful out of a really hard battle to get help from the VA so I took all their letters of rejection and confusing paperwork and made this sculpture."

She soon began to realize that they needed additional help. She turned back to Hope For The Warriors.  

She signed up for a Caregiver Wellness Workshop. She was terrified as she went to her first meeting but quickly discovered however that she was not alone. It was an eye-opening moment to realize how many others experienced caregiver fatigue, and that there was an actual term for it! She learned there was no judgment or shame for being overwhelmed, confused and even sometimes hurt and angry.  

She also discovered the term Secondary PTSD where loved ones, especially spouses, can take on the symptoms of their partners; like depression and anxiety. This happens when they stop caring for themselves and instead live for their traumatized partner.   

She and John started on a journey of emotional recovery together. Individually their lives had been changed, but their marriage also had suffered. Often the impact on relationships and marriages is forgotten or minimized, but many do not survive after a service member returns home.  

Sarah learned that in the midst of the pain and confusion, it was ok to laugh. It was even healthy! She began to practice self-care and took time to rejuvenate and refresh her own mind and spirit. She continued with her art practice at school, which was more like art therapy, but also branched out into another passion of hers; filmmaking and acting.  

She said the biggest lesson she learned was that PTSD is a treatable condition. It is possible to overcome it and be free of the devastating effects. She states that now both she and her husband John are living abundant and happy lives.  

She and John have recently founded a new online community called Brave Love, with a mission to help the brave and those who love them traverse the murky and unfamiliar waters of getting relationships back on track and thriving again.  

They have a new online course entitled Brave Love Relationship Masterclass. It is scheduled to start on November 3rd. Registration can be done through their website; www.bravelove.tv. 

Sarah credits Hope For The Warriors for helping them regain their emotional well-being both as individuals and as a family.  

  

My friends, I am constantly on the lookout for people and organizations that align with my own goal to share My Hopeful Life stories. Hope For The Warriors was a perfect fit and I am thrilled to bring their dedication and inspiration to you. It is part of their ideals to meet the ever-changing needs of combat veterans and service members and those who love them. They truly understand the sacrifice that occurs on both sides.  

For more information on their program and services, or to volunteer please visit their website;  

hopeforthewarriors.org


If you know of any other individual or organization that would be a good fit to My Hopeful Life please reach out. I'd love to hear from you.

And as always.....

Hope With Abandon

Hope Out!

www.hopeboulevard.com.